What I don't think that anybody I know understands about me (except my wife) is that every day for the last seventeen years since 1996, I have awoken to the same thought:
'Oh god! Not another day with schizophrenia.'
The effects of that thought are deleterious to my psyche because of what all "schizophrenia" brings with it from obtuse commentary to outright home invasions and physical attacks on my person causing depression, low self esteem, anxiety, withdrawal, fear of my own shadow, not to mention fear of other people and circumstances, etc.
So, when I am told things like "it's all in your head," "zero credibility," "pathetic," "you hear voices," "motherfucker," "you have milked schizophrenia for long enough," "teatsucker," "chicken," "alkie who swills drinks with sperm," "schizo," etc.: it affects me in a psychological way by causing me to feel negatively about myself.
Peoples' words and actions effect affect of themselves and others. "No man is an island unto himself." People are not autonomous as individuals. People need people and people tend to feel needed and wanted when a person is not put down over and over again by those a person is beholden to such as family, friends or societal causes, ad infinitum.
I cannot easily forget commentaries or physical attacks to my person as I awake everyday to everything that "schizophrenia" brings from appointments with quacks at least twice per month if not more often for the last seventeen years since 1996 to offering a $450/hr. legal job to a $700/hr. lawyer while telecommuting to New Jersey from my apartment earning $10/hr. to place the call and one hundred other calls to lawyers offering the same $450/hr. job.
With a climate of hysteria in media about "schizophrenia" in light of "schizophrenia" being mentioned as a reason for random gun violence, it is my "lot" diagnosed as "schizophrenia" to be outcast from most meaningful avenues in life: such as is available to people who are considered "functioning" in spite of "mental illness" manifest in myriad so called "functioning" individuals and on society as a whole, "the world being schizophrenic."
False beliefs due to misinformation in the public eye about "schizophrenia" and myriad other circumstances, people and events are symptoms of "schizophrenia" and manifest as "mental illness" from believing "Jesus is the Son of God" to animism beliefs or that Iraq had WMDs when none were found. People believe what they are told to believe, not what is presented before them and deducing for themselves.
So, when I am called epithets due to my "lot" in life, "schizophrenia:" I write to try and understand from whence a person derives the obtuseness as to "pour salt on a wound" while devoid of the fact that "to understand a man, walk a mile in his shoes." My personal motto is that one never really knows what another person knows no matter how well one person thinks to know another person, so don't be quick to judge.
'Oh god! Not another day with schizophrenia.'
The effects of that thought are deleterious to my psyche because of what all "schizophrenia" brings with it from obtuse commentary to outright home invasions and physical attacks on my person causing depression, low self esteem, anxiety, withdrawal, fear of my own shadow, not to mention fear of other people and circumstances, etc.
So, when I am told things like "it's all in your head," "zero credibility," "pathetic," "you hear voices," "motherfucker," "you have milked schizophrenia for long enough," "teatsucker," "chicken," "alkie who swills drinks with sperm," "schizo," etc.: it affects me in a psychological way by causing me to feel negatively about myself.
Peoples' words and actions effect affect of themselves and others. "No man is an island unto himself." People are not autonomous as individuals. People need people and people tend to feel needed and wanted when a person is not put down over and over again by those a person is beholden to such as family, friends or societal causes, ad infinitum.
I cannot easily forget commentaries or physical attacks to my person as I awake everyday to everything that "schizophrenia" brings from appointments with quacks at least twice per month if not more often for the last seventeen years since 1996 to offering a $450/hr. legal job to a $700/hr. lawyer while telecommuting to New Jersey from my apartment earning $10/hr. to place the call and one hundred other calls to lawyers offering the same $450/hr. job.
With a climate of hysteria in media about "schizophrenia" in light of "schizophrenia" being mentioned as a reason for random gun violence, it is my "lot" diagnosed as "schizophrenia" to be outcast from most meaningful avenues in life: such as is available to people who are considered "functioning" in spite of "mental illness" manifest in myriad so called "functioning" individuals and on society as a whole, "the world being schizophrenic."
False beliefs due to misinformation in the public eye about "schizophrenia" and myriad other circumstances, people and events are symptoms of "schizophrenia" and manifest as "mental illness" from believing "Jesus is the Son of God" to animism beliefs or that Iraq had WMDs when none were found. People believe what they are told to believe, not what is presented before them and deducing for themselves.
So, when I am called epithets due to my "lot" in life, "schizophrenia:" I write to try and understand from whence a person derives the obtuseness as to "pour salt on a wound" while devoid of the fact that "to understand a man, walk a mile in his shoes." My personal motto is that one never really knows what another person knows no matter how well one person thinks to know another person, so don't be quick to judge.
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