Empl0yment Ideas:

I met with the vocational counsel at the State of Maine on Jan. 16, 2015 @ 2pm.

I discussed ideas for jobs such as "homeless outreach worker" or "anything" that I end up doing, including folding boxes at $8.25/hr.

(the voc counsel) suggested I call an "employment specialist" who might have contacts.

I called the employment specialist at 12h15 Jan. 21 to discuss ideas of being employed in "anything."

employment specialist said that employment specialist would team me with Zeek (another employment specialist) at employment specialits' office if I call (voc. counsel) and mention to voc. counsel about what employment specialist and I discussed.

I will be calling voc. counsel at the State of Maine at 3pm Jan. 21, 2015 to inform voc. counsel of employment specialists' and my conversation over the phone.

After I call voc. counsel at 3pm Jan. 21, 2015, I hope to be teamed with Zeek, the employment specialist who has "connections" in order to place me: as preferably a "homeless outreach worker" or else "anything."

Meanwhile, I wait between now and forever for a pay check.

(I can't understand how all these people with their zillions of dollars are too cheap to give up $8.25/hr. for me to be able to fold boxes or whatever ...)

Basically, if I am not earning a pay check by April 2015: then it is "panhandling" full time.  (I already have my signs made up ...)

thanks,

–James Shirley Barnes–

PO BOX 5049

Portland, ME 04101

207-619-2042

617–939–9301

207-749-7916

j.s.b.1973.2012@gmail.com

Skype: "jamesshirleybarnes"

On December 8, 2010 @ approximately 7pm:

I just went to bed and R., whose key to the front door I had re-possessed a few days earlier, crawled through the dog door out back and ran up the back steps into this apartment where I was napping yelling: "I love you" and that she wanted to fuck me then and there.

So, then R. blurts out that she stole her mother's car and hit a parked car to come to see me!

I got her the hell out of my apartment, put her in my truck, drove the three blocks from the apartment house to the wrecked car where the police had just arrived to initiate investigation.

I waylaid the point officer on that street five seconds before the officer could initiate investigations with the victim's car by saying to the officer that this is a mental health issue and that the driver of that car (the wrecked car) is in that car (my truck).

My truck idled for an hour on that street with my dog inside it on a 14 degree F night and I did not have a coat on me.

I stood on one leg for a twenty four 1000 count and other tests while R. told the officer who split us on the sidewalk that R. used her key to get into my apartment.

I had told the the TRUTH to the officer that she had come into the apartment through the dog door and up the back steps.

Then, the officer says to me that "somebody is lying."

That officer stepped across the street at that point while another officer stood watching me on the sidewalk where I was shivering and my hands became numb.

Then, I said to the officer watching me on the sidewalk where I was ordered to stand that "there is no lying about it.  I have R.'s best interest utmost in my mind."

Ten minutes after I say that to the watching officer after shivering for an hour on one leg as I was ordered to, the PPD allowed me to drive R. home to her mother.

Not only that, but the PPD gave me the copy of the accident report to take to R.'s mother.

And then, I came back to the apartment along the same route on that street three blocks away from the apartment where I CACA and managed to retrieve my AAA card that I offered AAA to tow R.'s mother's car that R. wrecked.

All while CaCa Brains was shouting at CaCa Debul, CaCa Brains!

Dear info@:

I will not add my name to anymore petitions of gov't., except by voting next in 2016.  I voted twice for 0bama, 2008 and 2012.

I appreciate that 0bama is a good man doing the best that he can in difficult circumstances and I do believe that the whoms' of diversity are essential to reforming the USA attitudes of bigotry that is rooted in the school systems at an early age for most youths in the USA, as per my experiences.  (After all, it means more foo-foo for me!)

Short hand: I would like to see support for Maine immigrants from the feds in that I know as a fact that African immigrants in ME were from indigent countries where yours' and my iMAC is attributable and contingent to "our typing" and Steve Jobs' unfinished super yacht by the time of his death, causing civil wars in African continent regions over essential components for an iMAC and other electronic equipments used by insatiable consumers.

After all: both Bushes, Clinton and Reagan initiated immigration, reform legislation.  I am left wondering why I keep thinking of Bohner when my wife crosses my path or else why I think my cat is at my feet when kitty is across the 45 ft. length of apartment sleeping on my wife's pillow ... eat more burritos and foo-foo!

Response to Two Cents Worth:

Thanks, U, for your two cents.  A couple of things are that things have changed since I wrote the letter to B and publicised it for everybody to read and understand.  I believe that with the letter, I arrived at some truth about myself regarding other peoples' opinions of me and of all the things that I have been falsely accused.  I am a free man, U, and as far as the new wife and me are concerned, we are building our lives together as I write this response to you.  We are in the process of building our lives together, but I had some unfinished business to take care of from my past: which the letter accomplished.  So, I am a free man as of the letter with the dust settling from the impact of the letter's message about how I sued my mother for the "truth" by having her sign as a witness on a legal docket about deleterious medications that I was prescribed.  As for what happened to me during February 1993 in that I was extricated from school in SF and locked in a psyche ward in NYC, the truth is known now with the letter.  I sought the truth and got it, like it says: "seek and ye shall find."

So, thanks again for your input!  take care, -JB-

The World is Schizoid

On Voices

Why do psychiatrists ask: "do you hear voices?"  It is a baited question posed to schizophrenia.

Also, it is a stupid question because on the one hand, if the patient says: 'yes,' then it is acknowledged that the patient hears 'voices.'

However, the doctor can't hear the 'voices.'  But, the doctor is acknowledging the patient verbatim when a patient says that they hear 'voices.'

(Yet, few psychiatrists or members of the public will acknowledge anything else a person diagnosed with schizophrenia suppositions, instead the norm being to assume that the person 'hears voices' 24/7/365.

Thus, schizophrenics are discounted: except in the case(s) when the patient says that they 'hear voices,' which is stigma).

The term 'voices' originated from hospital settings wherein a patient(s) used the most apt term available to them in their limited vocabulary and education to describe their experience.

The term 'voices' was then coined by psychiatrists and used in the DSM-IV because psychiatrists heard the term on the ward originally from patients.  (Royalties?)

One supposition is that there is no such thing as 'voices' to describe a schizophrenic's experience.

'Hearing voices' is 'hearing things' that are not 'there' or within earshot, in terms of the DSM-IV schizophrenia definition of it.

Thinking is 'voices.'

A person sounds out words in the brainbefore uttering the words.  It might take a nano-second for the brain's thought (sounding out) to reach the tongue.  In that nano-second, it is a 'voice' that is not 'there.'

Thus, a thought is a 'voice(s).'  Everybody has thoughts.  So, everybody hears voice(s).

The term 'voices' to describe what a schizophrenic might be experiencing is a misconstrued description of what is 'disorganized thinking' to one degree or another in terms of the manifestation of 'disorganized thinking' in varied individuals: not just schizophrenics.

Lastly, if 'voices' originate from within the brain because there is no other source for them, then what is 'voices' but thoughts?

An Answer:
I suppose auditory hallucinations could be considered a kind of thought. They're a brain process of some sort. Though not all thinking involves language. 

Spoof on Voices: http://youtu.be/5mAOE0H1CYk

Aggravated Illness by Bearishly Mans Jeers The Press Herald September 21, 2011 PORTLAND —

Police want Portland residents to be aware that there should be no barriers for people who seek mental health support services in the city.

The department held its first Family Forum on Tuesday night at the police station to promote those services and make its position clear: no one, regardless of their situation, should be denied help in a crisis.

Outside, Portland, ME is dark at 4pm in November. Suffering from a spell of cabin fever on one such evening in 2011 and the dog needing to go out, I ventured out not suspecting what I was about to experience on the street in front of the house where I have lived for ten years.

Some ten years ago, I lived in the West End of Portland before I moved to where I presently stay and have resided for ten years.

When I lived on the West End of Portland, On or about June 11, 2001, I was stopped by three burly officers of the law in cruisers at Longfellow Square and was asked why I was crowing like a rooster as they had reports of my yelling slurs.

I explained that I was not slurring people; that I hated nobody and that I was crowing like a rooster because miscreants were calling me a chicken adding:

"I was walking in VD Port the other day reading the Casco Bay Jerkly when all of a sudden one of those high school kids and you know how they hang out down there up and says 'have fun going home with your dog tonight.' So, being a clown I tooted my bike horn twice like a clown does."

One of the officers said that this was good, but told me to go home and go to work. I did.

(For the full story: google "Mental Illness Prophecy").

I was hospitalized for SZ in July 2001 after being beaten down in my rental apartment on the fourth of July, 2001 at 1am by the landlord's underage drinking buddies from Portland HS when the landlord and his wife had been out of town and I caught the kids fucking over the chickens in the back yard being awoken by their party.

I had called the police, but when the police came, they said not to call them anymore as the kids had hidden and then reappeared after the police left. I was hospitalized for SZ after the Fourth of July, 2001 and released from the psych ward on August 3, 2001.

On August 4, 2001, one of the kids from July 4, 2001 shouted at me when he saw me and said that he would "kill me."

I proceeded to notify my doctor, my parents, the landlord's friends down the street and the doctor told me to tell the police and file a report, the which when I went to the station, they escorted me to the hospital yet again.

I was in approximately ten police paddy wagons, cruisers and ambulances between 2001 and 2002 in Portland, ME taking me for five hospitalizations due to an illness aggravated by miscreants (or otherwise known as other people's kids) and bad parenting in the community.

On the night in question, Tuesday, November 15, 2011: I was suffering from cabin fever and ventured out for a few minutes with my dog for air.

When I opened the front door and stepped out onto the walk where I live, I noticed a police cruiser with lights flashing and parked. Another cruiser was up the street. A police man standing next to the nearer cruiser was texting and a large group of kids (no more in age than 15yo) were running around on the next block apparently going up to different houses and "knocking for suspicious activity" (as I was to find out later is what's dubbed: "Community Policing").

"The Portland Police Department is committed to a community approach to policing our neighbourhoods. This requires officers to become immersed in the neighbourhoods they serve and become a resource for residents as well as law enforcement."

Apparently, Community Policing is fifteen year old kids knocking for suspicious activity. Then, as my dog made his usual rounds on the corner with my "rubber necking" some, I was about to turn back into my house when at least six of the group of +/-twenty kids I had seen, ran up to me on the corner while my dog relieved himself, confronted me, and told me to take my hands out of my pockets: that they were going to ask me a few questions.

Having seen a urologist for that particular side effect due to my experiences with other people's kids, I curtly told them to "fuck off," turned around and walked back to my house.

I was standing on the walk way to where I live at the foot of the steps for the front door of the house and the police man whom I had seen texting strode up to me out of the dark and said in an authoritative tone:

"Why were you rude to those kids!?"

I replied:

"I saw a urologist for that particular side effect."

"What does that have to do with what you told them?" he retorted.

"It means that I don't do what kids tell me and you should know that," failing to mention "Lance the dispatcher" and his knowledge of me my having listened to a police scanner 24/7 for six months once upon a time.

I heard "Lance the dispatcher" tell an officer jokingly that he would order the officer to go after "Jimmy," (assumedly me in my mind), if the officer didn't follow another dispatch order.

The officer standing on the walkway to the house where I live continued:

"Well, those kids are performing a community service. You shouldn't have told them that. Do you have ID?"

"Well, I'm schizoid," I told him. "I saw my doctor today. I was just coming out to walk my dog. I live here," I told him.

I gave him my ID and then asked:

"What!? You going to take me to jail?"

"I might," he retorted as he called in my license number and found out from the "Lance on duty" who I was and my history with police in Portland.

"Hey!" I told him as he was calling into a dispatcher: "I counted to 24-1000 on December 8 last year. I haven't done anything."

Upon retrieving information on my license, he said after he told me to be quiet so he could tell me something:

"If I hear of you being mean to kids again, I am going to arrest you."

Then, I asked:

"Can I tell you something now?"

He acquiesced and I barked:

"Kids were mean to me once upon a time. You tell those kids NOT to be mean to me or I'll sue!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Pennsylvania man won $50,000 after he was cited for flipping off a cop. "The U.S. Supreme Court has consistently held that speech may not be prohibited simply because some may find it offensive," said Ira P. Robbins, a law professor from American University in Washington D.C. "Virtually every time someone is arrested for this, assuming there's no other criminal behavior... the case is either dismissed before trial or the person is convicted at trial and wins on appeal."
----------------------------------------------------------------
In my experience, Portland's programs for Mental Health Support Services and Community Policing are divergent, contradictory and aggravate situations. "howler and spider monkeys diverged from a common ancestor".
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"FUCK YOU: YA ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT KIDS!" Arrest me.

Letter to -B-:

I received the article from the well blog, NY TIMES by the writer with sz.  Thanks!

What struck me the most was his remarks on relationships with people and he writes "all you need anyway is one or two friends."  I've heard that before from a friend when living in CA.

It's true, but I have never understood why people are closed off in communicating with others or me like the man from Puerto Rico at your schoolhouse said: "In Puerto Rico, they say hello.  Here they don't even look at you."

I grew up in Africa.  Go to most places in Africa and people greet each other.  People here are like if you look at them the wrong way, they beat you up.

I have mentioned that to another guy whom I know and is an acquaintance of mine from here and he confirmed it saying "yep. that's the way I came up."

You thought your Hurricane Katrina tenants were bad!  W0W!  You should've lived here as a super then tenant yourself since October 2001.

Anyway, -B-, I want peace with you and my family.  I love you all as people who have been in my life for a long time: all of my life.  I can only surmise that love is why I didn't disappear to Bellingham or wherever and came back here.

As for being a cause of problems, I inherited the sz diagnosis due to genetics as well as due to the dynamics of my relationship with my mother.  I am convinced of it by readings in biological and experiential hypothesis on sz.
I try to talk to mom, but it is 50 subjects per second non stop without any conclusion to any one subject.  It drives me crazy.  I can't be around my parents without being irritated.

You are an old man, -B-, and I mean you no harm when I lash out in emails.  I wish you peace. It is just that I can become angry and frustrated at not being able to have any kind of meaningful communication with my parents and people they affect concerning me.

So, thanks for the good times and no thanks for the bad times: your being integral to my parents and me moving to Maine.  I am going to heed my aunt's advice and focus on the wife and my one or two friends.

If I don't have money, so be it!  I'll lie down in bed like the Sierra Leonians.

Incidentally, I won $4,520 net in 2014 from answering a TV ad during fall of 2004.  All I had to do was sign legal work about the med that I was prescribed at the time with -EH's signature as a witness after everybody shouted at me between 1996 and 2002 to take it, which I was taking it and the judge agreed that I was taking it in light of the medical records.

I almost died twice due to side effects of that medicine: in the ER on life support with hyponaetremic seizures, which is what the judge concurred.

I remember June was in the back seat beside mom during 2007 in Portland and June said to mom: "you're signing your life away."  Mom laughed and signed.  Ten years after answering the TV ad over the med that I was prescribed from 1996 to 2002, I received $4,520 net by certified mail.  Lawyer was in Texas.  Court was in New Jersey.  I never ventured further than Bethel to Augusta to Portland in all that time.

What the $4520.¢¢ sums up to from the medical suit with -EH- as a signed witness in court is that if -EH- ever says that it was "me" and not bad side effects from medicine that caused me to act erratically between 1996 and 2002, then -EH- perjures herself in that -EH- is a signed witness in court to the fact that it was the medicine which had deleterious side effects on me causing me to act erratically.

A judge agreed that it was the medicines which were poisonous to me, as did -EH- with -EH-'s signature on the witness line of the legal docket.  Hence, -EH- perjures herself as a witness to a judge's ruling if -EH- ever says that it was "me" that caused me to act out between 1996 and 2002 and not the medicine that I was prescribed and shouted at to ingest, if not in subsequent years too with other medicines that I was prescribed until the present (such as during 2012 when people were calling my doctor and leaving messages about me while the doctor kept upping doses of deleterious medicines).

In short, I sued -EH- for the truth about what has happened to me since February, 1993 when I began the delusional journey to regain what had been taken from me: a trusting family of me in that my family did not believe that I did not prank or call -JJ- during February 1993 (it was New Yorkers with whom I went to school and them being a reason that I traveled to SF; and, I sued the pharmaceutical company over the deleterious medicine that I was prescribed between 1996 and 2002.  I won both suits during 2014 with -EH- as my witness on a legal docket so that if -EH- ever says otherwise about me concerning truth or the medicine: -EH- perjures herself.

May I recommend the movie title: "I, Croupier."

I wish that I had never listened to anybody about appl stock, as in "you'll lose your money."  I think it best practice to not put much stock into what other people say because you were right: "opinions are like assholes, everybody has one."

I think that I might have to be like a troll on Internet forums in real life and "not let commentary get me down," but I find that people are so mean sometimes.

In other news, I will have a chance to plug my books at a community college, psycho-social class as a Peer Educator in mid-November. Supposedly, "Twenty-Seven Schizophrenic Scrawls" on Amazon could be considered for required reading.  A State of Maine vocational advisor is setting up the Peer Educator role for me and he thinks that I am an "excellent writer," having read my book.

Anyway, best of luck: Mr. -B-.  Don't die too young! Take care!  I will try to leave you alone and not reach out to you.  I know that I can be a bother or what's called a humbug.  After all, dad and my brother gifted me "humbug" candy from Norway.

P.S. at least I am not a psychopath!
So, I figure the 1st amendment applies to me too, even if all I do is babble ...
Besides, there are worse stigmas than sz comprises: Ebola, for one!